Peanut's Place ~ Silly Stuff

TRUST ME!! There's NEVER EVER a dull moment with a Jack Russell Terrier living in your house!

Wait do it again... I see the water go down the hole but where's the hole go? Flush it again!

Forget the mailman I live to bark at the paper towel roll.

Look up in the sky! It's a bird! It's a plane! No it's wonder puppy! Who can leap tall gates in a single bound!

I wonder how many puppy beds I can dig up before they make me sleep on the floor?

I found a dime in the couch... awww come on give it back. I found it first... finders keepers it's mine!

Oh man did that come outta me?

The fastest record of totally destroying a new toy. 2 hours.

If you hold my bone while I chew, I'll be good.

Mom says I gotta stop bein a puppy and be a dog but I don't wanna.

Thanks Nik for the underwear! hehe mom calls um understring.

Help!! My teefies are falling out all over the place!

You guys don't mind if I *got to ground* in the couch do ya?

Hurry up!! Bundle me under the covers I'm freee freezing!!

Here I am!! I live to bury myself under the covers or sandwich myself behind the pillows.

You better have a blanket handy when you're sitting on the couch because I need to snuggle underneath it or I'll just bury my head under your shirt.

Can I have my snuggle ball bed back please? I won't dig a hole in it no more.

Better hide the batteries or I'll try to eat em. I will drop your tv remote control on the floor so the back come off and the batteries spill out.

It only took 4 months to find the best seat in the house. My Moms computer chair. With her in it. :o)

HI NIKKI!! *bong* HI HI NIKKI *boing-boing* Hurry! Pet me pet me! *boing-boing* I sure did miss you!!

It's more fun playing with 2 things at a time rather than 1.

It's also more fun to eat my treats on you instead of beside you!! Crumbs? You don't mind do you?

Betcha I can make it to YOUR favorite chair before you!

Here Mom, I'll keep your chair warm while you go pee.

You're having cheese curls?? I want some!!

Doggy heaven ~ 36 teeny tennis balls at one time!! Woo Hooo!!

If you think dogs can't count, try putting three dog biscuits in your pocket and then giving Peanut only two of them.

Rules for non-pet owners who visit and like to complain about our pets.
1. The dog lives here. You don't.
2. If you don't want dog hair on your clothes, stay off the furniture.
3. I like my dog a lot better than I like most people.
4. To you, he's a dog. To me, he's an adopted son who is short, hairy, walks on all fours and doesn't speak clearly.
5. Dogs are better than kids. They eat less, don't ask for money all the time, are easier to train, usually come when called, never drive your car, don't hang out with drug-using friends, don't smoke or drink, don't worry about buying the latest fashions, don't wear your clothes, don't need a gazillion dollars for college, and if they get pregnant, you can sell the pups.

HOW TO BATHE A CAT

1. Thoroughly clean toilet.
2. Lift both lids and add shampoo.
3. Find and soothe cat as you carry him/her to the bathroom.
4. In one swift move, place cat in toilet, close both lids and sit on top so cat cannot escape.
5. The cat will self agitate and produce ample suds.
(Ignore ruckus from inside the toilet, cat is enjoying this.)
6. Flush toilet 3 or 4 times. This provides power rinse, which is quite effective.
7. Have someone open outside door, stand as far from toilet as possible and quickly lift both lids.
8. Clean cat will rocket out of the toilet and outdoors, where he will air dry.

Sincerely, The Dog

Dog In The Jungle

A wild dog is running through the jungle.

While wandering about he notices a leopard heading in his direction with the intention of having lunch.

The dog thinks, "Boy, I'm in deep trouble now."

Then he sees some bones on the ground close by, and immediately settles down to chew on the bones with his back to the approaching cat.

Just as the leopard is about to leap, the dog exclaims
loudly, "Man, that was one delicious leopard. I wonder if there are any more around here?"

Hearing this the leopard halts his attack in mid stride, and he slinks away into the trees.

"Whew", says the leopard. "That was close. That dog nearly had me."

Meanwhile, a monkey who had been watching the whole scene from a nearby tree, figures he can put this knowledge to good use and trade it for protection from the leopard. So, he goes chasing after the leopard.

But the dog saw him heading after the leopard with great speed, and figured that something must be up.

The monkey soon catches up with the leopard, spills the beans and strikes a deal for himself with the leopard.

The cat is furious at being made a fool of and says, "Here monkey, hop on my back and see what's going to happen to that conniving canine."

Now the dog sees the leopard coming with the monkey on his back, and thinks," What am I going to do now?"

But instead of running, the dog sits down with his back to his attackers pretending he hasn't seen them yet.

And just when they get close enough to hear, the dog says, "Where's that monkey. I just can never trust him. I sent him off half an hour ago to bring me another leopard, and he's still not back!"

Author Unknown

You Know You're A Dog Person When...

You have a kiddie wading pool in the yard, but no small children.
You have baby gates permanently installed at strategic places around the house, but no babies.
You can't see out the passenger side of the windshield because there are nose-prints all over the inside.
Poop has become a source of conversation for you and your significant other.
You refer to yourselves as Mommy and Daddy.
Your dog sleeps with you.
You have 32 different names for your dog. Most make no sense, but he understands.
You have little songs that you sing to your dog, and he always wags when you sing, even though you can't carry a tune.
You like people who like your dog. You despise people who don't.
You carry dog biscuits in your purse or pocket at all times.
You talk about your dog the way other people talk about their kid.
You sign and send birthday/anniversary/Christmas cards from your dog.
You put an extra blanket on the bed so your dog can be comfortable.
You go to the pet supply store every Saturday because it's one of the very few places that lets you bring your dog inside, and your dog loves to go with you.
You don't think it's the least bit strange to stand in the back yard chirping "Peanut, pee!" over and over again, while Peanut tends to play and forget what she's out there for (but what your neighbors think of your behavior is yet another story).
You meet someone when out walking your dogs and you introduce your dogs first.
You don't think twice about trading licks of an ice cream cone with your dog.
You match your furniture/carpet/clothes to your dog.
All of your charitable donations go to dog-related and humane society groups.
You have your dog's picture on your office desk (but no one else's).
You lecture people on responsible dog ownership every chance you get.
You hang around the dog section of your local bookstore.
Your parents refer to your pet as their grand dog, remember his birthday, and send him greeting cards and gifts.
Your friend's dog acts as Best Dog at your wedding.
Your weekend activities are planned around taking your dog for a hike (both days).
You keep an extra water dish in your second-floor bedroom, in case your dog gets thirsty at night (after all, his other dish is way down on the first floor...).
Your freezer contains more dog bones than anything else.
You never completely finish a piece of steak or chicken (so your dog gets a taste, too).
You shovel a zigzag path in the back yard snow so your dog can reach all his favorite spots.
You avoid vacuuming the house as long as possible because your dog is afraid of the vacuum cleaner.
You keep eating even after finding a dog hair in your pasta.
You make popcorn just to play catch with your dog.
You carry pictures of your dog in your wallet instead of pictures of your parents, siblings, significant other, or anyone else remotely human.
And the number one reason you know you're a dog person:
Your dog is the star of your World Wide Web site!
Author Unknown

The Best Part About Owning A Dog...

... is the way he will come over to see me, for no reason, just to let me know I'm important to him...
... is the way he is always ready to lick the jelly off my nose...
... is the way he looks into my eyes and finds contentment in simply being near me...
... is the way he will run all over the yard, fetch a soggy tennis ball and bring it back to me as if to say "look mom, it's all I have, but it's yours...
... is the way he wakes me up in the morning by pushing his cold wet nose in my ear and snuffing loudly...
... is the way he shreds toilet paper all over the house, because it's fun even though he knows he shouldn't...
... is the way he's sure he can catch the ducks in the lake today...
... is the way he comes over to me when he is sad...
... is the way he wedges himself near me when I am sad and push all others away, to console me with his love...
... is the way he pounces on crickets in the backyard...
... is the way he looks perplexed when they escape...
... is the way he is terrified of the evil pink hula hoop...
... is the way he doesn't care about bad hair day or overdue bills...
... is the way he loves you, even when you are impatient with him and have no time this morning for a game of tug-a-war...
... is the way his coat feels like liquid silk under my fingers...
... is the way he finds wisdom beyond words...

Author Unknown

Inner Strength

If you can start the day without caffeine or pep pills,
If you can be cheerful, ignoring aches and pains,
If you can resist complaining and boring people with your troubles,
If you can eat the same food everyday and be grateful for it,
If you can understand when loved ones are too busy to give you time,
If you can overlook when people take things out on you when, through no fault of yours, something goes wrong,
If you can take criticism and blame without resentment,
If you can face the world without lies and deceit,
If you can conquer tension without medical help,
If you can relax without liquor,
If you can sleep without the aid of drugs,
If you can do all these things,

Then you are probably the family dog.

Gotta love this! Thanks Di from WAGS 'N TAILS for sharing!! :o)

Why Dogs Are Better Than Wives...

The later you are, the more excited they are to see you.
Dogs will forgive you for playing with other dogs.
If a dog is gorgeous, other dogs don't hate it.
Dogs don't notice if you call them by another dog's name.
A dog's disposition stays the same all month long.
Dogs like it if you leave a lot of things on the floor.
A dog's parents never visit.
Dogs do not hate their bodies.
Dogs agree that you have to raise your voice to get your point across.
Dogs like to do their snooping outside rather than in your wallet or desk.
Dogs seldom outlive you.
Dogs can't talk.
Dogs enjoy petting in public.
You never have to wait for a dog; they're ready to go 24-hours a day.
Dogs find you amusing when you're drunk.
Dogs like to go hunting.
Another man will seldom steal your dog.
If you bring another dog home, your dog will happily play with both of you.
A dog will not wake you up at night to ask, "If I died would you get another dog?"
If you pretend to be blind, your dog can stay in your hotel room for free.
If a dog has babies, you can put an ad in the paper and give them away.
A dog will let you put a studded collar on it without calling you a pervert.
A dog won't hold out on you to get a new car.
If a dog smells another dog on you, they don't get mad, they just think it's interesting.
On a car trip, your dog never insists on running the heater.
Dogs don't let magazine articles guide their lives.
When your dog gets old, you can have it put to sleep.
Dogs like to ride in the back of a pickup truck.
Dogs are not allowed in Bloomingdales or Neiman-Marcus.
If a dog leaves, it won't take half your stuff.

Pet Diaries Uncovered As seen in a dog's diary:

8:00 am ~ Oh Boy! Dog food! My favorite!
9:00 am ~ Oh Boy! A car ride! My favorite!
10:00 am ~ Oh Boy! A walk! My favorite!
11:00 am ~ Oh Boy! A car ride! My favorite!
Noon ~ Oh Boy! The kids! My favorite!
1:00 pm ~ Oh Boy! The yard! My favorite!
3:00 pm ~ Oh Boy! The kids! My favorite!
4:00 pm ~ Oh Boy! Dog food! My favorite!
5:00 pm ~ Oh Boy! Mom! My favorite!
7:00 pm ~ Oh Boy! Playing ball! My favorite!
9:00 pm ~ Oh Boy! Sleeping with my peeps! My favorite!

Why you should buy the extended warranty!